Pixie Fairy
by Kawaii-babi
Summary: Jude hits Max on the head with a golf ball and Max goes all wonky... uh oh! What'll happen? If you read, you'll find out


**Pixie Fairy**

I do not own Across the Universe (well, I do, but I don't… like, I bought the movie, but I… oh, well, you know)

Max and Jude stumbled up the stairs to the roof of their apartment. They had just gotten back from one of Sadie's many gigs, and they were BEYOND piss drunk, and they decided to go on the roof to play golf. Jude tripped and slipped down a few stairs, making Max burst into hysterics.

"'S not funny, dick." Jude mumbled. Max grinned a toothy grin.

"OUI OUI, MON AMI!" Max exclaimed, earning a laugh from Jude.

"MAX WET HIS PANTS!" Jude yelled at the top of his lungs. Max quickly put his hand over Jude's mouth, and Jude licked his hand.

"EWIE! I GOT JUDE GERMS!"

"Serves ye right, ye stupid… peanut." Jude grumbled.

"Didn't know nuts could pee." Max said. Jude grinned and picked up the golf clubs.

"Race ye to the roof." Jude said with a loopy smile. Max took a few moments to process what Jude had just said, and then he attempted to run up the stairs, but he tripped every few steps. Eventually, they both somehow reached the roof without getting hurt too badly. Jude grabbed one of the golf clubs and pulled it out, accidentally hitting Max in the crotch, but Max didn't even flinch, but Jude didn't really notice.

"Mmmmmax! Where's the ball, mate?" Jude asked. Max put his hand down his pants and searched around for it.

"Not there… not there… mm… that feels nice, but no, that's not it… uh… FOUND IT!" Max exclaimed, holding up a little white golf ball. Jude grimaced and backed away from him.

"EW! I DON'T WANNA TOUCH YOUR CROTCH BALL!" Jude whined. Max sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Fine… if it goes off the roof, I go down and get it, deal, or no deal?" Max asked, thinking that Jude wouldn't be able to even hit the ball in his intoxicated state. Jude grinned.

"Deal, mate." Jude said. He motioned for Max to put the golf ball down on the t (which had been left there from previous occasions) and Max did so. Jude swung and miraculously not only hit the ball, but also hit it off the roof and onto the street below. Jude turned to Max and smiled.

"Go get it, caddy." Jude said merrily. Max glared and stomped halfway down the stairs, and then tumbled down the rest of the way, making Jude laugh. As he patiently waited for Max to return with the ball, he started wandering around. As he was walking, he found a pink golf ball with 'Sadie' etched into it. Jude put it on the t, not caring about the fact that Sadie would chop off his head with a butter knife (painfully slow) and…

**THWACK**

The ball did a perfect arc in the air and went down, down, down…

**THOCK**

"OW!"

**THUMP**

Jude gulped and looked over the edge of the building and almost fainted at the sight. Max was lying down in the middle of the street on top of a struggling hobo. Jude, as quickly as he could in his intoxicated state, ran down the stairs and out of the building to his best friend.

"Oh my god! Are ye okay?" Jude asked. The hobo pushed Max off him and grunted.

"Yeah. Thanks." The hobo said.

"Not you, man, my friend. Max… are you okay?" Jude asked, but Max didn't respond. Jude started slapping Max, but he still wouldn't wake up. The hobo sighed and grabbed Max's crotch, and Max's eyes miraculously began to flutter open. Jude smiled.

"Hey man, how are ye?" Jude asked. Max smiled.

"I AM MAX THE MAGICAL PIXIE FAIRY! EVERYBODY WUVSES ME!" Max yelled. Jude sighed.

"Max, be serious. Are ye okay?" Jude asked. Max got up and started skipping merrily.

"What would you do if I was a balloon? Would you blow up and fly far from me? Lend me your string and maybe I'll sing, and it hopefully won't be out of key." Max sang off-key. Jude raised his eyebrow.

"Man, what's wrong with ye?" Jude asked quizzically. Max frowned.

"Because you hit the ball, it hit my head. Because you hit the ball. Aaah." Max sang. Jude rubbed the back of his neck.

"Max, I think we should get you checked out." Jude was seriously worried. What the HELL was wrong with his friend?

"Hey Jude, come into bed…"

"DON'T finish that sentence." Jude said, disgusted. Max pressed his chest against Jude's and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Why don't we do it in the road?" Max sang, while nipping Jude's neck. Jude pulled away quickly.

"MAX! STOP IT!" Jude whined. Max stuck out his tongue, and Jude did the same in response.

"Strawberry tongue forever!" Max sang, pointing at Jude's tongue, which indeed did look like a strawberry…. a very red, sexy, juicy strawberry. Jude blushed and put his tongue back in his mouth (much to the writer's displeasure). Max walked to the entrance of the building and then looked back expectantly at Jude.

"Dear Judy, won't you come up to play? Dear Judy, let me make your day. Let's have a romp, in my bed, but mind you, please watch your head. Dear Judy, won't you come up to play?" Max asked with puppy eyes. Jude sighed and walked to the entrance of the building.

"I'm coming up, but not to play." Jude said. Max sighed and moved to the side.

"I'm following the Judy, the Judy, the Judy. I'm following the Judy, wherever he may go." Max sang. Jude tried to ignore Max, but it became quite impossible. ESPECIALLY when Max decided to grab Jude's derriere. Jude then decided that it would be safer to make Max walk in front of him.

"Is there anybody going to listen to my story, about Jude who didn't want to play. He's the kind of guy you want so bad, he makes you horny, but you might regret it the next day." Max sang. Suddenly, the crazy old cat lady down a few floors from where they lived ran up the stairs with a broom in her hands and a cat in her hair.

"WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP ALREADY?" She yelled at the top of her lungs. Max's eyes went wide and he put his hands up in defense.

"Listen… miss… My friend just got hit in the head with a golf ball… he's not all there… can we just go up to our apartment and leave you to your cats?" Jude asked. The old lady rolled her eyes and walked back down to her apartment, muttering something about 'those meddling kids'. Once Jude was sure that she was gone, the lifted his hand up and.

**THWACK**

"OW!"

**THUMP**

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Max yelled from his place on the floor. Jude raised his eyebrow.

"What?" Max asked. Jude smiled.

"You're not answering me in song." Jude said merrily.

"Why would I answer you in song?" Max asked. Jude grinned and skipped up the stairs.

"THERE'S NO MORE SONGS, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, THERE'S NO MORE SONGS YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, THERE'S NO MORE SONGS, YEAH, LEFT FOR MAX TO SING!" Jude sang as loud as he could. The crazy cat lady started running up the stairs with her broom and Max quickly bolted up the stairs and up to his apartment.


End file.
